(Natalie Portman in 'Black Swan')
To dance ballet is to pursue perfection. Each movement is measured, grounded in rules, and technique is critical. While limbs are drastically contorted and hips are pulverized from years of rotating against the way nature intended, it is perhaps the obsessiveness of the dancer that is the most destructive element of ballet. In Darren Aronofsky's latest film 'Black Swan', Nina Sayers, played by Natalie Portman, is the epitome of purity. A virginal, sweet, and submissive creature, she is driven to madness while trying to reach the summit of perfection - the ability to portray both good and evil, sweet and sexy, white and black.
The film itself is a glossy thriller, as much a fairy tale as a horror melodrama that lends itself generously to Portman's portrayal of Nina's psychological unravelling. I felt uneasy and, at times, queasy as I watched Portman delicately peel the skin from her finger, crack her toenails into a bloody mess, and vomit up her grapefruit portion all in the name of her art. I am sure others felt similarly uncomfortable, however it was a particularly disturbing experience for me as I have experienced elements of Nina's self-destructiveness during my own pursuit of perfection in ballet.
What 'Black Swan' achieved well was demonstrating the focus and commitment required to succeed in a ballet career. The film was realistic in portraying the incredible effort and hard work that is needed, as well as showing the life of a dancer, trapped in the claustrophobic and dungeon-like hallways of a theatre, totally obsessed with her art form. During my perfectionist peak, around 16 year old, I too would wake early in the morning only to begin stretching, carefully portioning my fruit into breakfast and lunch (one apple for each), and staying late after rehearsals to practice moves that I thought needed improvement, after which I would go home to make tea for my parents, relishing watching them dunk their chocolate biscuits into the milky brew. I spent much of my dancing life in front of a mirror, sometimes seeing what I wanted to see, but most of the time, not. The mirror was as much a comfort as it was a menace. It determined my day. Wake up and see ribs jutting out - good day, wake up a different morning and see a millimeter more of flesh - awful day. Aronofsky's ample use of reflection and mirroring in 'Black Swan' conveys the truth in many dancer's lives - in the mind of the ballerina, you are only as perfect as you see yourself to be. In the end, Nina's reflection literally kills her. A shard of glass in which she sees her evil alter-ego is what becomes her downfall. She, like many dancers, can vaguely see the sort of dancer she wishes to be, but cannot let go of the dancer she thinks she should be.
Beauty, in the mind of Nina, is all about purity. The darkness that dwells within her has been squashed for so long that it has had to find its way out in the form of an eating disorder and self-harm. This is all too familiar in the lives of many young dancers as they strive for ultimate perfection. Not only in the studio but throughout their lives. They wish to be the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect student, the perfect face, body, mind. Pure white perfection, untainted by the hard truth that in fact, life is not perfect, and this is what truly makes it beautiful.
More to come on Aronofsky's latest film and its moments of truth, and its moments of exaggeration...
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